I never wanted to write this post, in fact when I started blogging I never intended to have my photo’s in it or write about my life. It was to be an anonymous blog of sorts, of course most bloggers will realise that to write a blog does include you, it has to otherwise it seems vacant. Anyway as you all know the blog is very much an extension of me and my personality so it seems odd to try and hide part of that, but there are things I like to keep private. When one of the private things started to impact upon the fashion however it got a bit tricky, and I have found it hard to write a lot of the posts from the last 3 months.
So I am going to explain a few things in this post to get it out of the way, like ripping of a plaster (band-aid for my USA’ers). I have rheumatoid arthritis (RA).
It is an incurable disease which causes inflammation of the joints. Yes, it does majorly occur in older people but there is a large percentage of younger people with it. There are many different strains of arthritis and it effects people in different ways. I have a fairly bad case, it differs day to day but every day is affected in some way. From slightly achy hands on a good day to complete exhaustion (no being able to get out of bed), extreme pain in my hands (so I cannot even move a finger), same pain in my knees, feet, spine, elbows, wrists, ribs. My hands are always cold, I can spend a whole day or week feeling nauseous. I can’t tell you the last time I managed to sleep right through the night. It is hard to sleep with your hands, and sometimes your elbow perfectly straight – try it when your laying in bed just for a minute, it is pretty much impossible.
You know your having a bad day when your laying in bed, one eye open, trying to think of ways to hide your hair so you don’t have to go through the trauma of having a shower – it involves moving your hands and arms more than you would think! Then it is even harder to consign yourself to the fact that if you aren’t well enough to have a shower you really shouldn’t be leaving the house. Some days I think are a good day can quickly turn into a bad day, walking half way to the shop and have to come back because your already exhausted, having to go and hide in a changing room so you can have a rest – Harvey Nichols is best you could drop dead in there and nobody would notice.
I don’t like to tell people about this because I don’t want any sympathy, there are people a lot worse off than me.
Whilst waiting for X-rays in an empty room with your phone and a mirror, bloggers take a photo. I had to laugh at myself for doing this without even thinking. I think the gown could be Prada SS11.
So how is this affecting the blog?
Sometimes I don’t have the energy to get dressed, so unless you want to see my range of PJ’s there aren’t as many outfit posts.
Some days I can’t bare to put proper shoes on my feet hurt so much, again unless you want to see my Ugg boots a lot, not great outfits posts.
I hate wearing flats, but just looking at a pair of my beloved sky-scrapers and how my knees feel somedays, can make me cry.
I have put on weight, not that much but going from an 8/10 to a 12 is enough to make sure half my clothes are too tight, thus limiting the outfit selection – taking so many tables makes me feel either totally nauseous so I can’t eat, or insanely hungry so I eat tubs of hummus and wheat free crackers – more calories than you would think, especially when you are in too much pain to exercise.
I haven’t been able to wear any rings for a while due to swollen fingers.
I can’t wear nail polish as my nails need to be assed – one strain of arthritis can affect the nails.
When your in pain it makes you snappy, sometimes I have to leave a post a day or so until I can rewrite it without sounding like a serial killer.
My hands can hurt so much I can’t type, hence drop in my replying to emails and visiting your blogs.
I took this photo trying to devise a way to do more outfit post without going outside. Of course for walking the dog etc I wear this kind of thing all the time, I never expected to wear it to go out for lunch but it was either Uggs and be able to walk or don’t go at all. Luckily in Manchester Uggs and trackies are actually considered trendy by most of our youth, all I needed to do was swap the Chanel for a Pauls Boutique or LV Speedy bag and I would be set!
I also have to wear special gloves which make me look like a hobo, sometime I layer over them with other gloves, sometimes I forget to take them off for outfit posts like the pic over on Wendy B’s blog.
Anyway that is about that, I have lost a few followers as I know I get more hits for outfit posts but I think that I am writing some interesting post in exchange. I wasn’t sure if to put this post up but there are lots of great blogs by RA suffers which have helped me it is nice to know your not alone. I was also inspired after readings Vix’s post on her hip operation, and the lovely Mrs Fab, thank you ladies.